Keeping Track

This was in the second issue of Say What. Masterbation is a topic that makes some people feel uncomfortable, but, I feel that it is a very normal activity, and that by talking about it more openly, we can all feel a little more comfortable with our bodies and ourselves.
I woke up this morning with a piece of steel between my legs, and every wet dream I’d ever had running loop fast forward in my head. So, I know that the next week is going to be hormone hell, with sex on the brain constantly. So, I did the natural thing, and took the matter in hand. Feeling guilty about masterbation is like feeling guilty about urinating (that wave of self-consciousness when the splash of urine in the toilet bowl seems a bit too loud, so you aim for the side to quiet it down a bit). A method I have found helpful in getting through some of the guilt (and some of the subsequent denials that can get you into some pretty fucked up situations) is by keeping track for a period of time, of masterbation. Keep track of not just only the frequency and time of masterbation, but also the content of the fantasy (sometimes using just a couple of words that only I will understand if it’s just too weird to write down). I don’t keep a constant record (the frequency of the records can be as revealing sometimes as the recordings themselves). Get to know your SELF. Examining some of these regions of self can sometimes lead to resolutions in things that don’t even seem related. Let the light of awareness turn your lead into gold.

Break through denials into the guilt free, open your soul to what it really could be.


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